ADVISE NEURON ..... :)

It was 1980; Carren saw the first tube light of his life soon after landing on mother earth and cried for almost 4 hrs and the doctors were happy to see him as much as his parents.

‘John, we must send Carren to IIT, and he must bring laurels to our family’ said Annie.

Annie was just getting accustomed to her new role as a grandma for Carren and she was clearly overreacting with her son John. John, couldn’t react much as he was still rejoicing himself as a proud father, and kissed Maria on her forehead and said:

‘Maria, Carren is a precious child we must do everything so that he gets into Harvard when he is 22’

‘I feel he must make it to IIM and become a big business man like my father’ said Maria.

Still whipping of the meconium and the witches milk of Carren, the nurse entered with a sigh driving away every single occupant of that room except for Maria, whose eyes were still filled with tears.

It was already 18:00 hrs and John was loaded with wishes and a whole bunch of his colleagues came to visit him in person at the St.Pauls hospital. One of his colleagues who got just promoted as a father recommended John on the Do’s and Don’ts of fatherhood.

‘Get the hell out of here and I know what to do for my son, you…..’John told at the back of his mind.

Three days later the latest entrant to the D’Souza family, Carren D’Souza was welcomed into his house. As soon as the family entered a whole bunch of neighbors entered to say ‘Hi’ to the little one and started to place their recommendations to Maria: from how to feed the baby to how to wipe the ass. There was one who even went on to say how to cuddle and have sex with ones partner post-delivery and already Maria was getting furious.

However, she managed a smile and chucked the jobless creatures out of the D’Souzas and shut the door as if she wanted to hammer them bang on their heads.

Three years passed and Carren was a vibrant toddler, and there came Uncle Sam.

‘John, its time to send Carren to Montfort…’

‘No, John send him to St.Domincs…..’ said John’s aunty Patricia.

‘Uncle……..my god……St.Domincs and Montfort are godforsaken, you want Carren to be a bookworm , these schools do not have a play ground and they seldom allow time for extra-curricular. …better send him to the Doon’ said the anxious 6^th grader Michelle, Carrens cousin. By the time this was over Maria and John were dumb struck!!!! And John whispered to Maria….. ‘Better ask your relatives to get out of this place soon, and I know where to send my son’, that was already running at the back of Marias head as well.

Finally Carren was sent to St.Bedes as there was a strong recommendation sent across to John by: his father, mother, his grandparents, mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law …….and every Tom, Dick and Harry including Kumari (who works for the D’Souzas as their maid since the time she was eleven)

Days went by and Carren had to take his tenth standard public exam, and when asked what he wants to do after school…he promptly answered… ‘I want to become a pilot’….

Maria and John were already perplexed as their dream of sending Carren to IIT and Harvard seemed a washout. However, they did not show it out and let Carren finish his exams.

‘What group you want to take in your 11^th standard Carren?’ asked John

‘I want to take the commerce group. Dad’

‘What…………..?’ John stared at Maria not knowing what to answer.

‘Carren…I thought you wanted to become a pilot. But how do you think a commerce graduate can make it to the MIG’s?’

‘No dad, I think I am not that kind, I was speaking with Krishna Uncle, you remember the owner of Proton technologies and a big business man and he advised me on what to do after my 10^th standard and it sounded great to own a company and mint money when I am 25yrs…doesn’t that sound fabulous dad..??????’

Maria and John were zapped and John commented…. ‘Who the……is Krishna to advise Carren..? This dumbo is carried away and making wired decisions!’

Time passed by and the exam time table read - Economics in his model tests …and Carren was already hating economic theories and was realizing he made a mess of things…..and said to himself:

‘Einstein guy is better than this ……’ and said ‘I must be driving those Sukoi’s and not these looong craapy theories of economics’

With a sigh; he started to work on those knot theories.

It was the end of Carrens school life and as always, the D’Souzas was filled with every other person on earth to advise where Carren should go next for his education. Every place from the Gangaram College to Harvard was suggested and one of them even went on to say….Carren is smart he doesn’t even need a higher education he can start his company right away!

After careful planning and foreseeing Carren was sent to the prestigious School of Commerce within the University of Madras, Marina campus. Carren, left for his sophomore years and was already bullied by his seniors asking him why the…..he choose to come to this place! Enough was said for Carren to go mad and re-think whether his decisions were right and he had to retort to one of his professors.

Hmmmmm……..the Prof. was even worse and he loaded Carren with so many advise that Carren wanted to shout at the top of his voice……

‘Get lost all you……….. I know what I want and will get what I want.’

Hahahahaha…I am sure most of us would have seen and undergone at least one of these. I just thought how come no body on earth always think twice when they want to give: a blood donation, money to the poor, give time to serve the ailing, give hand to lift someone who was just hit by a bicycle, give their opinion on a major crisis that can ruin the country but give loads and tons of advices uninhibited even when not asked????

Is there an ADVISE NEURON???? I am sure there is and you know what it’s the only neuron that can never think especially when downloading its contents at the expense of others time, money and whatever.

If I find out the exact location of this ADVISE NEURON……… guys trust me I will make every effort to re-engineer it so that it can think and will download its contents only when its needed.

Advise me how I can find out the ADVISE NEURON……oh my god what am I asking for!!!!

© ArunZulu 2007